Epic (Fierce) Read online

  Gwen talked me down from telling Pilar where she could shove her offer.

  Even if I wanted to pursue such an endeavor, where would I fit it all? Between the public appearances, pimping my album scheduled to drop by my birthday in August, and the new animated film, “Black-Eyed Pete,” that began filming shortly before that, my plate was full. I had music to record for my movie, commitments to juggle with the new season of Fierce, and Vanni wanted me to record a duet with him for his new album. Even if I wanted to join Jace on tour, there wasn’t any time. Between Gwen and Iris, I was booked solid. It was going to be hard enough to put Maya and Diego in the mix, much less publicly commit to a weight loss journey just to pacify the masses.

  I thought about what Griffin had said about my work ethic. What a pompous ass. He probably assumed I was lazy because of my size, which was the general consensus by my detractors in the press. I had gotten a lucky break and the pity vote; that was the only reason I had outlasted poor Shelby on the show that landed me on the public’s radar.

  Anyone who worked with me would never have called my work ethic into question. I had driven myself past the brink of collapse on more than one occasion. Maybe if he had been a little more receptive and accommodating, he wouldn’t have had to endure my presence for more than one day. He was the one who kept calling us back into the studio to tweak it, when it wasn’t even his song in the first place.

  I was so relieved when Graham sent me a text telling me how much he loved what we had recorded. He was ready to push forward with the album release and I didn’t have to see Griffin Slade again.

  It was the best news I had all day, but my happiness was even more short-lived than usual. Within minutes Graham sent a follow-up text saying he wanted that song to be the lead single from the new album, complete with a video starring none other than Griffin Slade.

  I was at Baxter Mega-Worldwide Media Corporation by that afternoon. Though I knew he was busy, Graham was quick to usher me into the impressive office that overlooked downtown Los Angeles. He greeted me with a hug and kept his arm around me until we reached the chair facing his desk. “Jordi, what a lovely surprise to see you.”

  “Thanks for fitting me in.”

  He bestowed a benevolent smile. “Of course. We’re family, or have you forgotten?”

  I mirrored the smile. “No, of course not.”

  “Speaking of family, how did things go in Las Vegas?”

  I took a deep breath. “As well as can be expected, I suppose. Long story short: I found my mother. But it isn’t the happily ever after I was hoping it would be.”

  He nodded. “It usually never is. So where do you go from here?”

  “She’s in bad shape, Graham. Sickly. Poor. Possibly in an abusive relationship. There are so many problems that it is hard to know where to start.”

  He leaned forward, clasping his hands together on the desk. “I suppose it won’t do me any good to tell you to take it slowly?”

  I laughed. “You and Jace and everyone else I know. But there’s no way I could just leave her like I found her.”

  He nodded. “I understand. And I empathize. Honestly, I do. I just worry about you, Jordi. I’m afraid you’re going to lose yourself again.”

  My eyes met his. “I’m kind of scared of that, too. But what choice do I have? I have to do something.”

  He gave me a warm, fatherly smile. “I know. And you know if you need anything, you can come to me.”

  I was so glad he offered. “That’s actually why I’m here.”

  “Oh?”

  “I know you want to do a video for ‘I’m Not Sorry,’ but it may not be as simple as asking Griffin. I’m afraid we had a bit of a blowup at the studio the last time we saw each other.”

  “Whatever you did, it worked. That track is phenomenal. Have you heard it?”

  I shook my head. “I kind of left right afterwards.”

  His brow furrowed. “Was there a problem?”

  I pursed my lips together. “Kind of. Words were exchanged. I don’t think Griffin likes me very much.”

  Graham laughed, much like Jace had done when I admitted as much to him. “Are you kidding? Griffin likes everyone.”

  “That’s what I’ve heard. But trust me. He’s not on my short list of fans.”

  “Really?” Graham asked as he pulled a folder from the metal racks on the edge of his desk. “I just got an email from a director who wants to use you for his new movie. Says you were recommended by Griffin directly.”

  My mouth dropped open. “What?” Graham nodded and slid the printout across the desk so I could see it for myself. I read each word in disbelief. “I don’t know what to say.”

  “I’d recommend you say yes,” Graham stated as he leaned back in his chair. “There’s a lot of buzz about this movie. Possible Oscar contender, even. Best Original Song. That’s all I’m saying.”

  My eyes nearly popped out of my head. “Are you kidding?”

  He grinned. “You’re in the big leagues now, baby.”

  I sat, speechless, in the chair. I had come to Graham’s office specifically to ask that Diego replace Griffin for the video, but that seemed foolish and ungrateful now that I had this amazing and unexpected offer in my hands. Angus Newhouse was one of the most important young directors in entertainment. He had started as a child star in his native Australia, but found his niche writing and directing independent films that made tongues wag at film festivals worldwide. The Journey Home was the first big budget movie he had tackled, and the buzz was huge. It was adapted from a best-selling book of the same name, a period piece about a freed slave enduring the last days of the Civil War in order to piece together her scattered family. A-list celebrities had been cast to tell the tale and it was on schedule for a Christmas release, just in time for awards season.

  I glanced over the sheet music for the song they wanted me to sing. It did not escape my notice that G. Slade was credited as the writer. Likewise, the lyrics particularly hit home. This was a girl who had risked it all to restore her family. “Pieces of me scattered to the wind, until I can collect them all again, I’ll never solve the mystery of me. I’ll risk it all. No matter how many times I fall. I’ll pick myself up back up again. I’ll never be free until I’ve collected those pieces of me scattered to the wind.”

  My throat tightened as I sang it in my head. It was indeed a powerful piece. I knew instantly this could be one of the most important songs of my career, the one that finally and truly made me a star.

  My eyes met Graham’s. He stared at me thoughtfully. “So? What do you want me to tell them?”

  I wanted to have the luxury of saying I’d think about it, but even I knew that this was the biggest opportunity that had landed in my lap since I was cast on Fierce. By the time I left Graham’s office, not only was I booked to film the video for “I’m Not Sorry” during my trip to NYC the following week, but I had signed a contract to record “Pieces of Me” during my stay.

  That meant I had a few more weeks of Griffin Slade. No matter how he felt about me or how I felt about him, I knew I had to make it work, no matter what.

  CHAPTER SIX

  New York City, NY

  June 27, 2012

  The best thing about working in New York City was that it gave me time to catch up with my bestie, Corey McGrath, who had relocated to the Big Apple to work in his first Broadway production. We tried to keep up with each other via text and social media, but we were both busy living our dreams on opposite coasts. We could go days or weeks without talking, and I always felt my life was lesser because of it. It was a special treat indeed when we could hang out in person, like we used to do all the time when we lived together in that art deco apartment in Hollywood.

  Corey had certainly moved up in the world. His new apartment was a two-bedroom loft in SoHo that was open and spacious and much more modern than the apartment we used to share. An entire wall was bricked from floor to ceiling, and that was the wall that now featured all his professiona
l portraits. The rest of the walls were stark white, which, along with the large windows, brightened the spacious room. Most of the space was just that: space. The style Corey was going for on the East Coast was much more minimalist, given how few pieces of furniture or art that he had opted to display.

  The doorman had let me in since Corey was busy with a matinee performance. But there were bright coral flowers in the guest room and a giant arrangement of fruit and goodies on the plain dining room table, tagged with a cheerful, glittery card to welcome me to New York.

  I unpacked about a week’s worth of clothes in the empty chest in the guest room, which looked out at the tenth-floor view of the city. With another appearance at a Tempestuous grand opening, I was sure I’d have at least another two suitcases of clothes to take back to L.A., so I packed light for my two-week stint in the city.

  That, and Iris had already warned me that another major makeover was long overdue. I had to clear an entire day for her to work her magic.

  I double-checked my phone to remind myself when I was supposed to head down to Iris’s office, only to find a text from Griffin’s assistant, Emma Frost, touching base with me on the shooting schedule for the new video.

  I honestly didn’t know what to make of it. Clearly Griffin believed in my talent enough to recommend me for the song for A Journey Home, but he couldn’t be bothered to contact me directly. Anything he said or did was typically sent through a third party. And now I was dealing with his flunkies. It was like a constant reminder that I wasn’t worth his personal interaction.

  Of all the things I wanted to do while in New York, spending any time at all with the enigmatic Aussie was certainly at the bottom of the list. He always had this way of making me feel inferior, without doing anything at all to make me feel that way. This made everyone I dared to complain to think I was nuts, which – by default – made me wonder likewise. I could only hope that time with my bestie would help bolster my ego enough to withstand this confusing new dynamic.

  I walked down to the local market for some fresh produce, to prepare Corey one of the vegetarian meals I had learned from Maggie. On the way back, I was on the phone with the children’s home in New Jersey where my mother and my father met. She had filled in her part of my family tree, but the big question I needed to answer now was how my dad ended up there in the first place.

  As far as I knew, the Hemphill line was from Iowa. Granted any information he had shared about his parents had long been forgotten in the fourteen years he’d been gone, and the only real family on the Hemphill side I remembered was Aunt Verna, who died within three years of my dad.

  Had he even mentioned his mother or his father? And if not, why?

  Needless to say, my itinerary for New York was packed full.

  By midnight, Corey and I were sitting on the floor of his living room, entertainment TV on behind us, as we giggled and reminisced over the decimated remains of my Greek-inspired quinoa salad full of tangy tomatoes, crumbled feta cheese, olives and artichokes. He poured us another glass of wine as I tried to explain why I had such a problem with the “nicest guy in music.”

  “He barely talks to me. He doesn’t even look directly at me unless we’re performing. Meanwhile he can’t peel his eyes from his latest conquest de jour.” I knew I sounded bitter as I said it, but it really had been a hard pill for me to swallow.

  “Yeah, but you’re not his latest conquest,” Corey pointed out. “Of course he’s going to be saving all the charm for the girls on his arm. Look what he’s getting in return.” He gave me a cockeyed grin and I smacked him with one of his pillows.

  “Pervert,” I accused as I laughed.

  “Guilty as charged,” he agreed gleefully as he popped another black olive into his mouth. “What difference does it make anyway? You’re not after him, right?”

  “Of course not,” I answered. “I love Jace. Griffin may be the ‘nicest guy in show business’ but Jace is my heart. He fits me perfectly.”

  “So why does it matter what Griffin thinks?” Corey asked again.

  “I don’t know,” I admitted as honestly as one could to her best friend. I knew it sounded jealous and crazy, but the fact was I hated being treated like less than a woman by someone I wasn’t even trying to bed. He took away my “no” by rejecting me first, and despite the fact that I didn’t want him, it stung just the same. I felt worthless every single time he made googly eyes at his catch of the day. And that sucked. “It just does,” was all I could say to Corey.

  Before he could question me further, we were both sidetracked by a visual on the muted TV. Shelby and Eddie were caught coming out of a New York restaurant arm in arm, clearly a lot cozier than I had hoped. Corey unmuted the TV in time to hear the reporter say how “faithful boyfriend” Eddie was splitting time between Tennessee and New York, now that his girlfriend was being courted by Jasper Carrington.

  “The famous rift between Jasper Carrington and Graham Baxter looks to widen even deeper in the coming weeks, as Fierce standout Shelby Goddard is expected to sign with Baxter’s bitter competitor, Carrington Entertainment. Carrington Entertainment took a big hit in 2009, when scandal drove the hit-making band Dreaming in Blue, and Jasper’s own wife, Athena, into signing with Baxter Mega-Worldwide Media Corporation. Now that Graham Baxter has been plagued with his own scandal crisis after the high-profile Fierce tour, Carrington seems poised to strike on any hint of vulnerability. Goddard, as you all might remember, collapsed due to the emotional and physical strain of the grueling Fierce/Dreaming in Blue tour. Her father, Dr. Coy Goddard, who has announced his run for Senate in their home state of Tennessee, has publicly spoken out against Baxter and most musicians and performers involved with the production of Fierce. This apparently hasn’t hurt Baxter or the show itself, as the second season of Fierce is breaking every single ratings record the debut season scored in 2011. The finalists of Season One have also enjoyed growing successes. Jace Riga’s megahit ‘She Doesn’t Know’ still tops the charts, while his second single from his solo album ‘Unintentional Heroes’ is on track to do as well or even better. Likewise, Baxter Mega-Worldwide Media Corporation has just announced that Fierce finalist Jordi Hemphill will be performing a song from the highly anticipated movie, ‘The Journey Home.’ What Carrington can do for Shelby Goddard remains to be seen. Stay tuned!”

  Corey caught my look of disgust as he muted the TV again. “Well, that’s certainly an interesting turn of events.”

  “It was inevitable, I guess,” I said with a shrug. “Coy made sure that no one associated with Graham has access to Shelby. He still blames him for what happened. From what I know about Jasper, he’d swoop in on that just like the vulture he is.”

  “He fits right in with that family,” Corey quipped. “Coy Goddard is a raging douche bag. His whole platform is about ‘reclaiming American values’ and restoring the traditional family unit. According to him, gays are the reason for hurricanes, 9/11, the recession, divorce, reality TV and self-checkout at the grocery store. Honestly, I didn’t realize I held so much power. I should probably start wearing a cape.”

  I laughed. “How do you do it? That shit makes me so mad but you let it roll off. You always have.”

  He shrugged. “What choice do I have, Jay? This is my life. I can’t change who I am. It took me a while to figure out that haters are always going to hate. Not because of what I do, but because of who they are. You can’t let it weigh you down. It’s not your baggage to carry. It’s theirs.”

  “You’re amazing, Corey,” I said softly, and I meant every word.

  He grinned. “Hence: the cape.”

  Corey was still asleep when I left the loft that following morning. Iris sent a car around by nine o’clock, and I was at a salon being primped, plucked and pampered until I looked like a representative of New York fashion. By noon I was at the new store for Tempestuous on Fifth Avenue, sampling a number of clothes for their grand opening. Because I was the “face” of Tempestuous, they booked an afternoon
shoot at Central Park for photos for their new catalog.

  I was living the life of a rock star, complete with a throng of PING paparazzi stalking me around Manhattan. They all had the same question: “What do you think about your estranged husband romancing your former best friend all over the city?”

  I answered in one of three ways. Either I stayed quiet, mumbled, “No comment,” or – when I was especially annoyed – told them all to get a real job.

  Guess which response they printed in the report.

  DIVA SNUBS PRESS AS SHE TAKES A HUGE BITE OUT OF THE BIG APPLE!

  The second day I spent consulting with the director of the video, Roxy Malone. This was my first snag. She had a very definite idea of what she wanted to do with the video, which stretched me so far out of my comfort zone I immediately wanted to pull from the project.

  I met her at the penthouse luxury apartment she was considering for the shoot. The bedroom, which Roxy wanted to use as the focal point of the video, looked exactly like what I might expect the bedroom of a rock star diva to look like. Bold but feminine colors, such as royal purple and hot pink, filled the charcoal gray room that looked out over the famous New York City skyline. The dark ceiling was embedded with a hundred little sparkling lights, and the bench seating along two walls met in the center to feature a large, rounded bed. Pillows were strewn along the dark purple cushions, and sparkling pink material draped along the edge.

  “I figured we could drape black fabric over those mirrored doors for the closet, and shoot at night with low light to set the mood. Candles and these lights overhead keep it dark and shadowy and sexy. The art of seduction at work,” she winked.

  Though she was all of 4’11 and barely weighed 90 pounds, Roxy Malone’s personality was larger than life. I had heard her name tossed about in the past, mostly from Graham. He had enlisted this award-winning videographer on more than one occasion, each and every time resulting a huge success.